Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Randomize
