I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
