She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
