Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
