...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
