I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Swine flu is the new snow day.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
