That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
