I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
we made out on top of his cat.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
