actually, I'm a sock model
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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