when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Randomize
