physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
