So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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