At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
