You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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