I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize
