My pussy is not your playground.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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