I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Randomize
