I feel like abortions should bother me more
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
They are going to name an STD after you.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
