dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
