I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
