i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
