Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
the raccoons are back...
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