i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Randomize
