When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
