does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
