I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
