if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
