At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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