My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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