I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
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