I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
