O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
My boob is missing a layer of skin
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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