A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
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