Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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