these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
