This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize
