I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
