the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
