just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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