"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Randomize
