dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
