Where did you get a picture of my penis
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
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