Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
You smell like stripper and shame
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Randomize
