What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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