i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize