Don't you send me to vm
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Randomize
