Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
