Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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