Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Randomize