why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Randomize