from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
