okay pat passed out under dana's car
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
