she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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