hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
