boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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