and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Randomize
