did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
