haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
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