How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
