I am full of burrito and curiosity
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
