hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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