didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
