no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Randomize
