my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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