I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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