Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
