I feel great
I just peed on a car
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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