Already got asked if we're dating
Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
